The Release: Human Amusements at Hourly Rates (Compilation—Matador, 2003)
The “greatest hits” compilation: the CliffsNotes of musical discovery; a Q4/holiday season staple (aka, the perfect half-assed gift for someone whose tastes you’re vaguely familiar with); and the least creative way for a record label to milk more profits out of a known commodity. Sure, some ‘best-of’ collections provide everything that you would ever really need to hear from a decent-but-not-great band or artist. Some of these compilations adeptly re-contextualize a catalog worthy of deeper inspection. And apparently some are even “brilliant concept albums.”
By 2003, the folks at Matador Records felt that it was time to give Guided by Voices the compilation treatment. Now, all jokes about a “greatest hits collection from a band with no hits” aside, GBV had amassed a deep catalog full of songs that should have been hits. Why not package them together, in the hopes that their collective appeal might grow the audience of a group with a dedicated cult following? And who better to assemble a track listing than the auteur himself? After all, one of Robert Pollard’s greatest talents is his ability to sequence albums. And if he could make masterpieces out of disparate and disjointed pieces, how great would the results be if all of the raw materials were gold?
And yep, the results were predictably glorious—if you must, scroll down to the bottom of the page to see the score. And yes, as someone who—at the time—only had Bee Thousand, Alien Lanes, Mag Earwhig!, Isolation Drills, and the still-new Earthquake Glue in his possession, Human Amusements at Hourly Rates was a godsend. Sure, tracks from those five LPs accounted for more than half of the thirty-two offerings on Human Amusements, but hearing them lined up in such quick succession was a revelation. And while those five records had only made their way into my collection over the preceding handful of months, Human Amusements provided ample evidence of the remaining gems that I’d yet to unearth. Even today—in the ‘everything all of the time’ era of streaming—Human Amusements provides a handy road map toward GBV obsession.
But while I could go on (and on) about how excellent Human Amusements is—again, check the score—or nitpick over which songs might’ve been better inclusions, I’m gonna take a different route. My idea for this week is to use this space to make a proper sequel to Human Amusements at Hourly Rates. After all, Robert Pollard has written enough great songs to fill several of these things. And if the catalog of proper GBV albums—which has more than doubled since the band’s reunion—is nothing short of intimidating, potential converts to the club might be able to use another volume of ‘hits’ to ease their way into deeper waters.
I had to set a few basic ground rules for this endeavor. First off, I operated on the idea that such a compilation could have arrived at some point between GBV’s initial breakup (2005) and the reunion of the “classic lineup” (2010). This allowed me to include tracks from 2004’s Half Smiles of the Decomposed—and thus, put a bow on the pre-reunion era. Like the original Human Amusements, my imaginary sequel needed to adhere to the 80-minute limit afforded by the CD medium. It was only by coincidence that I hit the exact same number of songs—thirty-two—that were on Robert Pollard’s mix. And—outside of the opening track—I stuck to Pollard’s tendency to highlight shorter, more conventional pop songs for my compilation. Therefore, some of the excellent-but-sprawling tracks from this era (“Portable Men’s Society,” “Enemy,” “Christian Animation Torch Carriers,” and “Secret Star”) were relatively easy cuts.
I also wanted to make picks that felt plausible. For instance, if the original Human Amusements included zero songs from ‘non-canonical’ releases like King Shit & The Golden Boys or Suitcase, it would seem to reason that adding three or four selections from either of those probably wasn’t realistic. Ergo, some personal favorites had to take a backseat to the more obvious choices. Because of these parameters—and other factors—these are not just merely my picks for the “next best” thirty-two GBV songs. Rather, they attempt to retain the spirit, cohesion, and broad appeal of the original compilation.
Here’s what I came up with:
1. “Over the Neptune / Mesh Gear Fox” from Propeller (1992)
Human Amusements opted to open with Alien Lanes‘ “A Salty Salute,” and while that was a fine choice, it left nowhere else for one (or is it two?) of GBV’s finest tracks. The iconic “GBV! GBV!” chant can only go at the beginning of a compilation, so it was either here or nowhere. And really, we can’t have two full CDs of GBV classics without including this one, right?
2. “Everybody Thinks I’m a Raincloud (When I’m Not Looking) from Half Smiles of the Decomposed (2004)
The slow fade-out of “Mesh Gear Fox” pairs nicely with the slow fade-in of this excellent opener from Half Smiles of the Decomposed. Plus, it makes sense that a Human Amusements sequel would’ve opted to quickly feature a highlight from GBV’s latest, and final (kinda), album.
3. “Sad If I Lost It” from Mag Earwhig! (1997)
You don’t wanna go too lo-fi just yet, but you do want to show a different side to Robert Pollard’s songwriting. Mag Earwhig songs always make for nice transitions between the disparate recording methods of GBV’s career arc, and while that’s a luxury that we won’t always want/need to take into consideration, we’re still in orientation mode here. Therefore, this mid-tempo/mid-fi track fits the bill.
4. “Navigating Flood Regions” from Self-Inflicted Aerial Nostalgia (1989)
This live mainstay provides a little more tempo, and a lot more grit. Human Amusements didn’t include any tracks from Self-Inflicted Aerial Nostalgia, and this is the only one that I make room for here—despite several solid options.
5. “Quality of Armor” from Propeller (1992)
The a cappella intro to this fan favorite from Propeller just sounded right following the fade of the two-note guitar riff of “Navigating Flood Regions.” Ideally, I would’ve spread my two inclusions from GBV’s breakout record a little further out than with a three-song gap—though Pollard put a pair of Mag Earwhig tracks back-to-back on Human Amusements, so I’m not exactly breaking any sacred rules here.
6. “Fair Touching” from Isolation Drills (2001)
Another hi-fi crowd-pleaser to offset a brief stretch of lo-fi tracks. We’re still letting the noobs get acclimated, and this breezy, melodic, summery Isolation Drills highlight with big guitars does the trick, as it’s one of GBV’s most immediately-appealing songs.
7. “If We Wait” single A-side (1993)
Bob Pollard put the first ballad on Human Amusements in the sixth spot, so we’re slightly overdue. And if we’re talking GBV ballads, there are few (if any) better than “If We Wait.” In fact, I’d argue that this was the single best song to be omitted from GBV’s only official best-of compilation.
8. “Big School” from Static Airplane Jive (1993)
A nice infusion of “classic era” energy is provided by this opening track from the Static Airplane Jive EP. One of GBV’s greatest rockers, and a track that easily could’ve found a home on the original Human Amusements.
9. “Smothered in Hugs” from Bee Thousand (1994)
Time to bring one in from GBV’s masterpiece—Pollard held off until track eight on Human Amusements—and “Smothered in Hugs” was among the ‘most missed’ exclusions from the original compilation. It sounds great following “Big School,” though the quick cut—which leads perfectly into the transitional “Yours to Keep” on Bee Thousand—will sound a little awkward here.
10. “Hey Aardvark” from Static Airplane Jive (1993)
Going with a brief acoustic track here might help to cleanse the palate from the jarring transition—and also nod to “Smothered in Hugs'” typical follower. Yeah, it’s another Static Airplane Jive track in quick succession, and a relatively inconsequential one at that; but if Human Amusements could spare twenty-three seconds for “Hit,” then we can allot twice that length for this charmer.
11. “Closer You Are” from Alien Lanes (1995)
And that quick transition pays off with one of GBV’s greatest anthems; a standout moment from the group’s second masterpiece.
12. “Cheyenne” from Universal Truths and Cycles (2002)
After a nice run of lo-fi classics, the time is right to pivot back to something a little more palatable for a general audience. The shimmering guitars and tastefully-deployed glockenspiel offer a nice glimpse into one of GBV’s more ‘widescreen’ production efforts.
13. “Underwater Explosions” from Under the Bushes Under the Stars (1996)
The great melodies found in both the verse and chorus of this Under the Bushes Under the Stars highlight also distract from any of the production discrepancies that exist between the surrounding tracks. But really, by this point, the uniform excellence of the songwriting is probably a lot more noticeable than any shifts in fidelity…
14. “‘Wished I Was a Giant'” from Vampire on Titus (1993)
…which is a good thing, since we’re moving on to a song from GBV’s most notoriously ‘grimy’ album. You still need to dig (or squint) a bit in order to decode the melody in this classic Vampire on Titus opener, but it’s definitely there.
15. “When She Turns 50” from Same Place the Fly Got Smashed (1990)
I’ve recently come to the realization that acoustic GBV may in fact be the most consistently-great (or at least my favorite) of the group’s many modes. The soft Beatle-isms of this early beauty should recalibrate anyone left disoriented by the previous track.
16. “Girls of Wild Strawberries” from Half Smiles of the Decomposed (2004)
Still acoustic, but of a very different variety. We’ll get to this album next week; and while I’m not sure how much I’ll discuss the specific tracks from Half Smiles—there are a lot of potential talking points—this is absolutely one of its finest moments.
17. “Useless Inventions” from Earthquake Glue (2003)
Bob Pollard did right by choosing “My Kind of Soldier” and “The Best of Jill Hives” to represent the then-recent Earthquake Glue on Human Amusements, but this uptempo mid-album highlight is stellar in its own right.
18. “The Other Place” from Forever Since Breakfast (1986)
As Forever Since Breakfast had been recorded in a proper studio, the transition from GBV’s late-period work back to their debut release is nowhere near as jarring as one might expect—especially given what was recorded in the intervening years. This is Robert Pollard at his most R.E.M.-indebted, but as I mentioned in my piece on Breakfast, “The Other Place” may be the first great song that GBV released.
19. “Dayton, Ohio – 19 Something and 5” from Tonics & Twisted Chasers (1996)
For many—myself included—this opener to what was once a fan club-only release stands among the definitive GBV songs. There was zero chance that a song this charming—and this steeped in the Dayton lore that is so essential to the GBV story—wouldn’t have made the cut.
20. “Hank’s Little Fingers” from Devil Between My Toes (1987)
In both sound and theme—there’s some more Dayton lore at work here—this track from GBV’s first full-length LP is a fitting next choice. By including “Hank’s,” I had to leave out “The Tumblers”; but while the latter may be among my dozen favorite Guided by Voices songs, it might be a little too esoteric for an endeavor such as this one.
21. “Dodging Invisible Rays” from Tigerbomb (1995)
Tobin Sprout got a bit of a short shrift on Human Amusements, and I’m afraid that he’s on pace for a similar treatment on my sequel. However, this excellent Sprout composition from the Tigerbomb EP is an easy inclusion.
22. “The Brides Have Hit Glass” from Isolation Drills (2001)
It’s been a while since we’ve heard anything from the hi-fi era—now is as good of a time as any to reveal that I couldn’t justify the inclusion of any Do the Collapse tracks—and this late-album standout from Isolation Drills hits the spot, while offering an emotional counterpoint.
23. “Long Distance Man” from Sandbox (1987)
Human Amusements didn’t include any songs from 1987’s Sandbox; and while it’s down there with Do the Collapse as my lowest-rated (but not that low) GBV record up to this point, it still deserves some recognition. And no, I’m not only picking this one because it’s one of the LP’s shortest tracks—though that doesn’t hurt its case.
24. “As We Go Up, We Go Down” from Alien Lanes (1995)
Alien Lanes was so well represented on Human Amusements, that I feel inclined to go pretty light on it here. Besides, anyone picking up a second volume of a GBV compilation hopefully would’ve already hit the essential stops of the band’s two most iconic albums. I went with “As We Go Up” for my second—and final—Alien Lanes pick, but let it be known that “Blimps Go 90,” “Chicken Blows,” and “Little Whirl” (sorry, Tobin…) were all very difficult cuts.
25. “My Impression Now” from Fast Japanese Spin Cycle (1994)
It’s tough to justify multiple inclusions from an eight-song EP, which means that I had to make a difficult choice between “My Impression Now,” and the superior version of “Dusted.” I opted with the rocker/live staple in this case…
26. “Postal Blowfish” from King Shit & The Golden Boys (1995)
…and decided to pair it with another one cut from the same cloth. In this case, that meant excluding the absolutely wonderful “Indian Was an Angel” from the King Shit & The Golden Boys compilation. We might need an imaginary third volume of this thing.
27. “Universal Truths and Cycles” from Universal Truths and Cycles (2002)
In my recent piece on Universal Truths and Cycles, I mentioned how the album’s title track offers convincing evidence of Bob Pollard’s love for Wire. And like much of the best of that great band’s work, “UT&C” is sneakily catchy.
28. “Gold Star for Robot Boy” from Bee Thousand (1994)
In contrast, there’s nothing sneaky about the hooks from this Bee Thousand classic (“Robot Boy, yeah!”). Like Alien Lanes, I would hope that anyone interested in a second volume of Human Amusements would have already found their way to Bee Thousand, so I probably shouldn’t feel too bad about leaving off “The Goldheart Mountaintop Queen Directory,” “Buzzards and Dreadful Crows,” or any of the many worthy remaining options.
29. “Pendulum” from Same Place the Fly Got Smashed” (1990)
A carefree(ish) highlight from GBV’s darkest record, “Pendulum” is a long-time fan favorite, and rightfully so. It’s a hooky blast that never gets old.
30. “Beg for a Wheelbarrow” from The Pipe Dreams of Instant Prince Whippet (2002)
A great outtake that deserves more recognition. Bob Pollard has expressed regret for not including this fiery labor anthem on Universal Truths and Cycles. It receives a small measure of justice by getting the call here.
31. “Don’t Stop Now” from Under the Bushes Under the Stars (1996)
Arguably the most head-scratching exclusion from Human Amusements. Some might consider the so-called ‘Ballad of Guided by Voices’ too on-the-nose of a closer; but there’s a reason why it so frequently ended the band’s shows—including the 63-song marathon that closed the curtain on their first incarnation. I considered Half Smiles of the Decomposed‘s “Huffman Prairie Flying Field” for this spot, but this just felt right.
32. “Wondering Boy Poet” from Suitcase (recorded 1993, released 2000)
And yet, there was still one song that felt like a more proper denouement. An absolutely beautiful alternate take of a Vampire on Titus song, there’s a poignancy to this version of “Wondering Boy Poet” that makes it a perfect “bonus track”; remember how common those were on CDs? Besides, it seems wholly fitting to end a Guided by Voices compilation on something of a fake-out.
Rating: Human Amusements at Hourly Rates (10.0)*
*Singles are star-rated by their A-side; albums and EPs use the “Russman Reviews” scale.
Bob-ism of the Week: “When the pendulum swings, it cuts / When the big door swings open, it shuts / Yeah, we’ll be middle-aged children, but so what?” (“Pendulum”)
Next Week: The final album and tour from Guided by Voices; at least until they weren’t.
